When You Are Figuring Out What Comes Next
Figuring out what comes next can often start with a soft realization. The way you previously understood yourself no longer fits who you have become. That shift can arrive through a career, a relationship, or a child growing up. Often, what helps people figure out the next chapter is obtaining a clearer view of their patterns.
What Drew Me to This Work
Long before I decided to become a counselor, I found myself drawn to questions about why people do what they do, how they make sense of who they are, and what happens when life doesn’t unfold the way they expected. As a teacher, I watched students navigate the disappointment of not getting the future they had imagined and explore new possibilities they hadn’t considered. I watched parents struggle with expectations, hopes, and fears for their children, sometimes discovering that letting go of one vision of the future made room for another. I became interested in what it means when someone realizes that the way they’ve always understood themselves no longer fits with who they have become.
What Happens When Your Usual Ways of Coping Stop Working
I am especially interested in helping adults and young adults move through life’s changes with greater self-understanding, confidence, and connection. A theme that continues to emerge in my work is helping people figure out what comes next. This includes parents adjusting to their children’s changing needs, someone questioning a long-held vision of their career path, and someone reevaluating a relationship. I have found that people are often confronted with a need to change when their usual ways of coping no longer work.
What Three Decades in Schools Taught Me About People
Before beginning my training as a mental health counselor, I spent more than three decades in education, as a teacher, department chair, faculty leader, and director of admission. Throughout those years, I learned that I am interested in the patterns of thought and behavior and what they can tell us about a person. I am most comfortable in roles where my job is to understand rather than take sides.
How I Work
I work with young adults, parents, couples, and anyone seeking to understand themselves more deeply. My counseling approach is grounded in curiosity, empathy, and the belief that every person has strengths that may be difficult to see in times of stress and uncertainty. I believe that thoughtful reflection can help people discover new possibilities for themselves. I hope people leave feeling better able to understand themselves with both honesty and kindness.
How Relationship Patterns Shape the Way We See Ourselves
I am especially interested in the ways relationships shape our lives. The patterns we develop with family members, partners, friends, and colleagues can influence how we see ourselves and how we respond to challenges. Recognizing those patterns can be an important step toward connection and growth. I’m interested in helping people become more aware of the roles they play in their relationships while also recognizing their own needs, strengths, and boundaries.
People often want more than solutions. They want to feel heard. They want someone to understand their experience without judgment. My goal is to create a space where people feel seen, understood, and able to recognize strengths in themselves that they may have overlooked.
If You Are in the Middle of This
If some of this sounds familiar, you do not need to have it figured out before you start. Much of the work is understanding the patterns you are already living inside.
Leigh Gilman, works with adults and young adults navigating stress, identity, relationships, communication, and family, school, and career-related change. She is currently accepting new clients for telehealth in DC, Maryland, and Virginia, as well as in-person sessions in Takoma Park, DC.
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FAQ
How do I know if I need therapy or just a change in my life?
Sometimes it’s hard to know which comes first. A new job, relationship, or environment can be exactly what someone needs, but we also carry our habits and patterns with us. Therapy can help you better understand what belongs to the situation and what may continue showing up wherever you go.
Can therapy help if I do not have a specific problem to solve?
Yes. Sometimes people come to therapy because they feel stuck, disconnected, or vaguely dissatisfied rather than because of a specific crisis. It can be difficult to see ourselves clearly when we’re hearing the same internal messages over and over again. Therapy offers an opportunity to step back, look at those messages, and decide whether they still fit.
Is it normal to feel unsure of who I am in the middle of my life?
Absolutely. Midlife is often a time when old roles no longer fit quite the way they once did, while new ones are still taking shape. It can be surprisingly hard to understand the significance of an experience while you’re living through it. We are often much better at understanding a chapter of our lives after we’ve had a chance to step back and reflect on it.
What is the difference between talking to a therapist and talking to a friend?
Friends are essential, but they are also invested in us and our decisions. A therapist’s role is different. Rather than encouraging a particular choice or outcome, a therapist helps you explore your thoughts, feelings, and options without taking sides, so that you can make decisions that feel truly your own.
This article was written by Leigh Gilman, a counseling intern here at The Imago Center of Washington, DC.