Where is the "We" in "Us"?

As a mother to two young children and a wife to a loving husband, I often find myself asking, “Where did the ‘we’ in couple go when we added to children to our relationship?” It seems like the “us” is all to clear: family of four, 1:1 parent-child ratio at times, or one parent watching both children so the other parent can work/exercise/socialize. Honestly, I find it quite a challenge to make and honor couple time. It can seem like such a hassle arranging and paying for quality childcare and making time in an already busy schedule to go “play” with my spouse. However, when I do, it is completely worth it! We seem to renew our energy not just for one another, but for our family. It is refreshing to see my husband clearly as my husband and not as my children’s father. It is such fun to be able to focus my attention on him and not have it divided in three ways. (Just another admission from a therapist that we don’t always know what we are doing in relationships and that we have to work just as hard at connection. Ahhh, but isn’t it worth it?!)

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