While in couples counseling we stress the importance of making time to talk and engage in relational exercises such as the couples dialogue. Let me also suggest planning time to have fun. Planning fun? How boring! While it may not sound so spontaneous, it may be the only way that you will ever get around to enjoying each other’s company.
My wife and I have had a standing “date” night for the last two or three years. We found a babysitter who comes every Tuesday night to give us an opportunity to get out and spend time together. While this does not substitute daily interaction, which is necessary, it keeps the relationship in a positive space and also defuses a lot of potential conflict.
By making a set time, you are demonstrating commitment to your relationship. Couples often have the best intentions, but in their hectic lives, they don’t always wind up making time for one another. Before we made our date night, my wife would nag me to go out. As I am more of a homebody, I presented an array of excuses on a regular basis. Although I wanted to spend time with her, my indifference sent her a message that I was not interested. After reserving Tuesday nights for the two of us, this issue disappeared. Once in a while something will come up and we need to cancel, but it rarely has a negative impact on our relationship because we know that we have made going out a priority in our relationship.