30 Strategies for Self-Care and Why They Matter

Self Care

Self-care refers to things done by you for your own well-being and comfort. Many people know that self-care is especially important during times of stress, sadness, rejection, grief, and all kinds of upheaval and loss because it is these things that tap our inner resources and render us vulnerable to … Continue reading

Why I Need Help to be a Good Spouse and Parent

I was a child of the 1960’s – 70’s: The first generation of women in America discovering that they could, and perhaps should, have a career of their own outside the home. As little girls, my friends and I dreamed of our careers, not of having babies and making our … Continue reading

Why We Need Gratitude More Than Ever this Thanksgiving

After this polarizing election year that has left many of us feeling disconnected, weary, and fearful, Thanksgiving offers an opportunity for reconnection — even with family members of different political leanings, if we are intentional and focused on practicing gratitude. Here are three reasons that choosing a grateful outlook can … Continue reading

The NPR Diane Rehm Show: How We Choose Our Spouses

Recently, I listened to a panel discussion on the NPR Diane Rehm show entitled “How We Choose our Spouses”, (http://thedianerehmshow.org/shows/2016-10-17/how-we-choose-our-spouses). Did anyone else listen to this? The topic was inspired by a provocative New York Times article “Why You Will Marry the Wrong Person” by Alain de Botton. As a … Continue reading

The Best Wedding Gift Ever

If you are preparing to be married, consider premarital counseling: it’s the best investment in your relationship you’ll ever make. You don’t have to be religious to try it. Even though some couples come to premarital counseling because their priest, minister, or rabbi has made it a requirement before marriage, many … Continue reading

Creating Something Special in Our Kitchens

Paradoxically, while we may be more connected online, many of us are becoming less connected offline. How often do we see couples at a restaurant looking more at their cell phones than at each other. Think about kids (and parents!) on their cell phones at the dinner table! To battle … Continue reading

The Growing Problem of Social Isolation and What to Do About It

A client sat across from me in my office sobbing. “I feel so lonely” she finally said after she collected herself. This particular woman has a lot of friends and a successful career- how could someone as bright and friendly as her feel lonely? This woman is not alone – … Continue reading

Changes in Relationships

In a recent article about changes in relationship By Sara Polanchek and Sidney Shaw (Counseling Today, December 2015 – Ten intimate relationship research findings every counselor should know) I was slightly surprised by some statistics.  For example, cohabitation before marriage was reported as 60% today as compared to 5% in 1960. … Continue reading

Is There a Future in Monogamy?

The classic model of marriage and partnership is changing. One reason is because internal and external pressures on marriage cause increasingly undeliverable expectations. Where once we were socially connected to communities and extended families over a lifetime, couples now expect their primary relationship to deliver all that comfort and connection. … Continue reading

To Empathize or Not to Empathize? That is the Question!

Earlier this week I spoke with a parishioner who informed me that she would no longer attend the support group conducted at the church.  She told me that the group did not really provide the forum for the discussion of her current need.  She boldly said, “I need a man!” … Continue reading

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