Lena Derhally – 3 Myths about Healthy Marriages that Most People Think Are True

The Imago Center’s Lena Derhally was interviewed for Psych Central about myths about healthy marriages that most people think are true. There are many myths about what a healthy marriage looks and feels like. When we start seeing these myths as facts, we get into problematic territory. Many myths create … Continue reading

How Walt Disney Ruined Our Love Lives

Here is a provocative 2014 article from Brandeis Magazine inviting us to look at how legendary stories and fairy tales that had once offered a realistic and cautionary view of love and marriage became whitewashed narratives that lead us to divorce. http://www.brandeis.edu/magazine/2014/summer/featured-stories/disney.html

Changes in Relationships

In a recent article about changes in relationship By Sara Polanchek and Sidney Shaw (Counseling Today, December 2015 – Ten intimate relationship research findings every counselor should know) I was slightly surprised by some statistics.  For example, cohabitation before marriage was reported as 60% today as compared to 5% in 1960. … Continue reading

Is There a Future in Monogamy?

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The classic model of marriage and partnership is changing. One reason is because internal and external pressures on marriage cause increasingly undeliverable expectations. Where once we were socially connected to communities and extended families over a lifetime, couples now expect their primary relationship to deliver all that comfort and connection. … Continue reading

The Ashley Madison Cheating Website Debacle: What Does It All Mean?

If you’ve heard the name Ashley Madison only in passing, you may not know that AshleyMadison.com is a website for married (or otherwise committed) people to find partners in adultery.  Ashley Madison, a combination of the two popular female names Ashley and Madison, entered the social networking scene in 2001, … Continue reading

On Marriage: Keeping It Real

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In my practice as a couples’ counselor for premarital and married couples, I often encounter the myth that marriage should always feel like an exciting, bliss-filled love-fest with your best friend and soul mate. If, god forbid, you find yourselves grating on each other’s nerves, or fighting a lot for … Continue reading

To Empathize or Not to Empathize? That is the Question!

Earlier this week I spoke with a parishioner who informed me that she would no longer attend the support group conducted at the church.  She told me that the group did not really provide the forum for the discussion of her current need.  She boldly said, “I need a man!” … Continue reading

The “Pause” of Love

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Recently I saw the movie “Selma.”  The movie heralded the life of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. during the initial phase of racial desegregation in the United States.  In an attempt to ruin Dr. King’s integrity, the movie depicted a scene in which Mrs. King had received a tape recording with … Continue reading

How to Use Conflict to Connect and Grow in Instead of Wound

As soon as my couples get serious about using conflict to grow rather than to wound or make the other “wrong,” things change quickly and dramatically. In the attached article (click link below), Brian Gersho writes, “If you were to witness a healthy couple disagreeing on an issue, it would … Continue reading

The Problem with Relationship Advice

The Internet is a wealth of information. You can get medical advice, relationship advice, learn how to cook and really find anything you need. Some of the most popular viral articles these days are ones on relationship advice. As an Imago relationship therapist I can’t help but click on an … Continue reading

  • Food for Thought

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