Tender Touch

Tender touching is one way that we demonstrate affection towards another person. When you tenderly smooth back your partner’s hair, squeeze his shoulder as you join him on the sofa, massage her feet at the end of a workday, and hold hands walking down the street you are offering security, … Continue reading

Choose Today: Shame and Fear or Authenticity and Intimacy?

In the early years of our marriage, my husband Jason and I used to get stuck frequently in the same frustrating interaction. “We need to talk about our relationship” I would announce to him out of the blue, with urgency and anxiousness in my voice. “I’m feeling disconnected.” How do … Continue reading

We Need Mindful Relationships

You may be familiar with the healing properties of practicing mindfulness. Thirty years of research has shown that it increases our ability to relax, reduces pain, increases energy, improves self-esteem and helps us cope more effectively with stress. But how often do we practice mindfulness in our relationships? Mindfulness is … Continue reading

Group Therapy: Is It the Next Right Thing for Me?

My perception of group therapy is in part informed by two books: Irvin Yalom’s novel The Schopenhauer Cure and Norah Ephron’s Heartburn. Formal training is an essential foundation, and so is experience, but sometimes there is nothing as instructive as well-informed fiction. Yalom the consummate group therapist, and Ephron is … Continue reading

Want to Give A Little Advice? Don’t Do It! (or not until you have read this first)

Giving advice to someone who may be struggling, or stuck in that maelstrom of an unresolved situation, comes naturally, and often unconsciously for many of us. Before you know it, out pops your opinion and well-intentioned, ‘just do_____’. Sometimes we even follow up with our analysis of why our advice … Continue reading

Imago Relationship Tips: Your Core Values

Have you ever been in a hurry to get to work and as you run out the door you say something harsh or insensitive to your partner then as you’re driving in the car you feel guilty about your behavior? For more information on Imago Relationship therapy and how it … Continue reading

How to talk to kids about sexual abuse, and how you can help prevent it

One of my clients came into my office one day for a last-minute appointment and he sounded anxious. I had been working with him as his psychotherapist for several months and we had just started to delve into some deeper issues as our therapeutic bond became stronger. It was in that session, … Continue reading

Getting Triggered! It can be a slippery slope but doesn’t have to be

We all know that feeling of getting triggered. A quick feeling of anger, hurt, fear, or perhaps the feeling of being misjudged or ignored. That comment from a boss or colleague that leaves you feeling criticized. An eye roll from your teen. The dreaded silence of a partner when you … Continue reading

Making Peace With Your Inner Pessimist

The explosion in neuroscience over the past 20 years has revealed, among many things, that the human brain has a built-in bias toward the negative. In the world of evolutionary psychology this makes a great deal of sense. If we don’t stay alive, other biological imperatives like “Where’s the food?” … Continue reading

The Growing Problem of Social Isolation and What to Do About It

A client sat across from me in my office sobbing. “I feel so lonely” she finally said after she collected herself. This particular woman has a lot of friends and a successful career- how could someone as bright and friendly as her feel lonely? This woman is not alone – … Continue reading

  • Food for Thought

    Loading Quotes...