Positive Outcomes of Group Therapy: Corrective Recapitulation

The roles we play in our family are familiar and indelible. You know what role you assumed; your birth order may well have played a part in the familial roles you adopted. Roles serve to stabilize or defend against flaws in the family. Returning home for the holidays, adult kids … Continue reading

Choose Today: Shame and Fear or Authenticity and Intimacy?

In the early years of our marriage, my husband Jason and I used to get stuck frequently in the same frustrating interaction. “We need to talk about our relationship” I would announce to him out of the blue, with urgency and anxiousness in my voice. “I’m feeling disconnected.” How do … Continue reading

We Need Mindful Relationships

You may be familiar with the healing properties of practicing mindfulness. Thirty years of research has shown that it increases our ability to relax, reduces pain, increases energy, improves self-esteem and helps us cope more effectively with stress. But how often do we practice mindfulness in our relationships? Mindfulness is … Continue reading

Want to Give A Little Advice? Don’t Do It! (or not until you have read this first)

Giving advice to someone who may be struggling, or stuck in that maelstrom of an unresolved situation, comes naturally, and often unconsciously for many of us. Before you know it, out pops your opinion and well-intentioned, ‘just do_____’. Sometimes we even follow up with our analysis of why our advice … Continue reading

Why We Need Gratitude More Than Ever this Thanksgiving

After this polarizing election year that has left many of us feeling disconnected, weary, and fearful, Thanksgiving offers an opportunity for reconnection — even with family members of different political leanings, if we are intentional and focused on practicing gratitude. Here are three reasons that choosing a grateful outlook can … Continue reading

The Best Wedding Gift Ever

If you are preparing to be married, consider premarital counseling: it’s the best investment in your relationship you’ll ever make. You don’t have to be religious to try it. Even though some couples come to premarital counseling because their priest, minister, or rabbi has made it a requirement before marriage, many … Continue reading

The Growing Problem of Social Isolation and What to Do About It

A client sat across from me in my office sobbing. “I feel so lonely” she finally said after she collected herself. This particular woman has a lot of friends and a successful career- how could someone as bright and friendly as her feel lonely? This woman is not alone – … Continue reading

Changes in Relationships

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In a recent article about changes in relationship By Sara Polanchek and Sidney Shaw (Counseling Today, December 2015 – Ten intimate relationship research findings every counselor should know) I was slightly surprised by some statistics.  For example, cohabitation before marriage was reported as 60% today as compared to 5% in 1960. … Continue reading

Accept the Struggle that is Life

Last month, I wrote about narcissism: how as parents, we have the mistaken idea that we need to focus on making our children happy.  By keeping them always at the center of our attention, we are raising potential narcissists.  Instead, if we focus on helping them build the following traits, … Continue reading

To Empathize or Not to Empathize? That is the Question!

Earlier this week I spoke with a parishioner who informed me that she would no longer attend the support group conducted at the church.  She told me that the group did not really provide the forum for the discussion of her current need.  She boldly said, “I need a man!” … Continue reading

  • Food for Thought

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