Some people torture themselves over whether their marriage was a “mistake.” They second guess themselves endlessly about whether they’ve settled for less than the relationship they were supposed to have.
The most common cause for their doubt is the presence of conflict in their relationship. One of the first reassurances we give couples is that conflict is growth trying to happen.
Fighting isn’t the problem. The problem is that we haven’t learned to do it well. I’m not suggesting more arguments, but a way of moving through them that produces healing, growth, passion, and spiritual development for the relationship and the two people in it. It’s called intentional dialogue and it’s at the core of Imago Relationship Therapy.