30 Strategies for Self-Care and Why They Matter

Self Care

Self-care refers to things done by you for your own well-being and comfort. Many people know that self-care is especially important during times of stress, sadness, rejection, grief, and all kinds of upheaval and loss because it is these things that tap our inner resources and render us vulnerable to … Continue reading

Making Peace With Your Inner Pessimist

The explosion in neuroscience over the past 20 years has revealed, among many things, that the human brain has a built-in bias toward the negative. In the world of evolutionary psychology this makes a great deal of sense. If we don’t stay alive, other biological imperatives like “Where’s the food?” … Continue reading

How Walt Disney Ruined Our Love Lives

Here is a provocative 2014 article from Brandeis Magazine inviting us to look at how legendary stories and fairy tales that had once offered a realistic and cautionary view of love and marriage became whitewashed narratives that lead us to divorce. http://www.brandeis.edu/magazine/2014/summer/featured-stories/disney.html

Is There a Future in Monogamy?

The classic model of marriage and partnership is changing. One reason is because internal and external pressures on marriage cause increasingly undeliverable expectations. Where once we were socially connected to communities and extended families over a lifetime, couples now expect their primary relationship to deliver all that comfort and connection. … Continue reading

The Ashley Madison Cheating Website Debacle: What Does It All Mean?

If you’ve heard the name Ashley Madison only in passing, you may not know that AshleyMadison.com is a website for married (or otherwise committed) people to find partners in adultery.  Ashley Madison, a combination of the two popular female names Ashley and Madison, entered the social networking scene in 2001, … Continue reading

Four Interactions that Doom Your Relationship

Based on the research of Dr. John Gottman You may have heard of Dr. John Gottman. He’s known as the marriage researcher who can predict with 94% accuracy whether a couple will divorce. That’s not all he’s known for, but that piece of research certainly caught media attention. His dire … Continue reading

Does the Way You Spend Bring Happiness?

“Much of our activity these days is nothing more than a cheap anesthetic to deaden the pain of an empty life.” ~ Unknown Echoing the wisdom of the world religions, new research suggests that people spending money on “stuff” rather than life enhancing experiences “are sacrificing well-being for a sense … Continue reading

How to Use Conflict to Connect and Grow in Instead of Wound

As soon as my couples get serious about using conflict to grow rather than to wound or make the other “wrong,” things change quickly and dramatically. In the attached article (click link below), Brian Gersho writes, “If you were to witness a healthy couple disagreeing on an issue, it would … Continue reading

A fascinating and empathetic view from a Christian woman on why husbands seem so focused on sex

Barbara Rainey writes,”When God created woman, He gave her  multiple avenues for expressing the essence of her sexuality—her femaleness. Because I am a woman, I can participate in sexual intercourse with my husband. I can conceive a child and experience the miraculous process of creating a life in my body … Continue reading

Can I Live Without Negativity in My Marriage?

A current focus in the work of Haville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt, the co-creators of Imago Relationship Therapy, is uprooting negativity from marital interaction. Hendrix defines negativity as “any thought, word, or deed that tells a partner: ‘You’re not okay when you think what you think or act the … Continue reading

  • Food for Thought

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