Stress-Producing Stress

Define “stress.” Most people would define stress as an overall negative feeling. What kind of feeling, exactly? Stress might feel like: anger worry sadness being overwhelmed despair shock exhaustion pressure busyness irritation fear distraction confusion etc…   In other words, stress is an actual, definable emotion, not just a vague, … Continue reading

The Memories Behind our Memories

Why is it that most people cannot remember much of their early childhood, especially anything before age 2 or 3? Many things took place during those early years, things that became foundational for later experiential interpretation, yet most of us cannot recall early events. Without early language skills and without … Continue reading

A New Look at Family Gift Giving Traditions

While reading an article on mindful gift giving, I realized that some of the best relationship advice during the holidays is to take stock of inherited traditions. What worked at one time, may not work as well anymore, especially regarding gift-giving. Many families debate, anguish, and obsess over the best … Continue reading

Seven Days of Thanksgiving: Thankful for Not Having More

The title of Byron Katie’s book, Loving What Is, speaks for itself. Instead of wanting what is not, we can learn to accept and even love what is, which Byron Katie calls reality. It is human nature to want more. We think more is better and that more will fulfill … Continue reading

Eye-rolling as contempt

I was recently listening to couples expert, John Gottman talk about the four fatal behaviors that, if all are present, can predict divorce. He calls these the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. The negative behaviors are criticism, defensiveness, stonewalling (silence and/or avoidance), and contempt. What is contempt? It is total disregard … Continue reading

Food and Connection

Food and Connection

I love food blogs and recently reflected on the availability of good food and recipe resources that abound on the internet. Food brings people together. Food restores broken connections. Food soothes, and comforts, and repairs. Food helps people celebrate and remember and rejoice. Good food can actually lift the spirits … Continue reading

'Sanity' Rally Reminds Couples to Connect

 Last fall’s Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert Rally on the Washington DC Mall to “Restore Sanity and/or Fear” reminded me of the intentional effort many couples make to bring love and connection back into their own relationships, after a period of disconnection. Think of the extreme bi-partisan divide between the … Continue reading

Simplify With CBT

In their practical workbook, Mind Over Mood, Greenberger and Padesky state that cognitive therapy “emphasizes the examination of the thoughts and beliefs connected to our moods, behaviors, physical experiences, and to the events in our lives.” To simplify, if we think pleasant, calming thoughts, we will feel and act calm. … Continue reading

Balancing Marriage and Children

It’s inevitable – children change marriage. The way this happens is determined by the priorities couples set consciously and/or unconsciously. Some people marry with the intention of being lifetime partners first, and parents second. Others put parenthood on the front burner and their spouse on the back. Children need parents … Continue reading

  • Food for Thought

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