Recently I was invited to a bridal shower for a young woman who is marrying a member of my family. A version of the “Newlywed Game” was played as a form of entertainment. The groom had been asked a series of somewhat personal questions about his bride and their relationship prior to the shower, and the bride had to answer exactly as he did. If not, she was forced to chew a stick of gum. Her bridal party was quite ruthless and so she had a rather large wad of gum in her mouth at the end! (Try talking with a large wad of gum in your mouth).
What really struck me was how well the bride and groom actually knew each other. They had a level of intimacy which gave me an optimistic sense of what their relationship would be like after the wedding. It was a good reminder that safety and connection are necessary for intimacy, but not just in a newlywed stage of love. It is something that must grow and change over time with the different needs of the relationship. As I work with couples who have been in relationship much longer, we are striving to regain the sense of optimism, love, and intimacy and to remember the commitment they made to truly know one another.