Before beginning therapy couples often worry about whether or not counseling will “work” for them and their issues. Ginny Graham helps clients shift from what she calls “the once-and-for-all-magic-wand-approach” for solving life problems to one grounded in a more realistic process of change. “An important step for all of us to keep in mind in our efforts to improve our relationships,” she says, “is that doing so is an ongoing process.
“Looking at our summer gardens can help us get more real about change in our relationships. After planting flower seeds or starter tomatoes in the garden, no one expects a harvest overnight. Growing in our ability to communicate more effectively takes time too. Worrying that problems be fixed, and fixed fast, can act like weeds that keep our relational gardens from flourishing. When we consciously embrace the truth and rightness of the slow process of growth, we can help reduce anxiety. This more relaxed state allows us to take more responsibility. We can tune in more fully, listen better and build more of the trust that is necessary for cultivating our healthier relationships.”